Friday, March 18, 2011

Rage and Hanger

A few weeks ago Brock and I decided that we were going to tackle some demo work around the house. Specifically, we were going to tear down the super size deck that was in our back yard. Just as Elisabeth Kubler-Ross discovered the 5 Stages of Grief, I discovered the 5 Stages of Demolition with a Loved One. My degree from the University of Iowa is in sociology, which by the way is the first time I have EVER name dropped that fact.

The 5 Stage of Home Demolition with a Loved One

Delusional Thoughts and/or Lunacy: This usually takes place at the beginning of the day in the form of thoughts such as: This should only take 3-4 hours. We definitely have enough tools to get this job done. That's cute that you don't know how to use a hammer and/or any other tool we will be using.

Hanger: This is where you are so hungry you are angry, however, in our case this is where you are so angry you become hungry. The anger part comes from thoughts such as, "Why is the person who doesn't know how to hold a hammer so bossy".  In my defense, project management and keeping people on task is an important part of any demo. We were hangry a lot and took several of snack breaks.

The elusive trash bin of Los Angeles

Rage: This usually appears between the 5th and 6th trip to Home Depot.

Paranoia: The comes in 2 forms. The first is "Noise Paranoia" which is where you are constantly worried that your neighbors will complain about all the noise you are making. This generally subsides after 8am. Secondly, is "Trash Bin Paranoia". This is paranoia that the trash bin that you rented will be used by all your neighbors to dump their trash in because finding an open bin to throw your trash in in Los Angeles is as exciting as spotting a unicorn.

The equally elusive unicorn of Los Angeles

Memory Loss/Dementia: The onset of this is usually about 24-48 hours after your demo project is completed and enables you to start planning your next home improvement project.

I think its obvious that I have taken social sciences by storm with my new theory and in the process have made the University of Iowa very proud.

1 comment:

  1. Oh that was YOUR trash bin? Thanks.

    PS I'm stealing hanger.