Friday, July 29, 2011

Puppy vs Baby

People love debates and for centuries they have passionately debated topics such as Good v. Evil, Pepsi v. Coke,  and Tubbs v Crockett. The topic I enjoy debating most though is age old debate of Puppy v Baby.

Now it must be stated that I don't have kids or babies and my experience with dogs may be slightly greater. However, personal experience would put the advantage on babies as I have actually been a baby, I have never been a puppy. But fear not, I will present an unbiased argument  showing the pros and cons of both sides.

Baby: See photo

Cute, but seems noisy.

Puppy: See photo

Boo, the world's cutest dog.

Advantage: Do you honestly think I'm going to call this one? If I pick puppy, I have no soul. If I pick baby, my dogs refuse to speak to me.

Earning Potential
Baby: Chances are a baby will grow up, go to school and get a job and if you play your cards right will care for you in your old age.
Puppy: There are very few puppies that make enough to support themselves and their owners. Most of their work is volunteer (IE, rescue dog, therapy dog) and although, rewarding doesn't set up said dog financial security later in life. Now, the puppies that break into the TV and movie industry are nicely compensated but that lifestyle can quickly take a toll. If you are lucky enough to keep your dog off drugs and alcohol and out of the tabloids chances our most of their money will go to agents, managers, and personal assistants. Its really a no win.

Advantage: Baby

Shiny Coat
Baby: Every once in awhile you will see a furry baby, but that is usually only right after they are born and then they lose their fur hair. In their defense, it is pretty shiny.
Puppy: Their coat is shiny and soft from the get go and only becomes more so when given proper nutrition.

Advantage: Puppy

Nice Coat! In the baby's defense I'm not even sure this is a puppy.

Baby: A baby has the ability to reason, 2 thumbs and cognitive thinking skills. You think this would give them the advantage. Although they can learn almost anything, later in life they chose not to recall these early lessons. This is called the teen age years.
Puppy: The puppy doesn't have thumbs and only develops reasoning skills of a 2 year old, but he does have something that gives him the advantage, undying loyalty and desire to please. Goose, our Lab, came to us when he was 4 and he has never had an accident in the house, has never chewed anything, and regularly balances our checkbooks and updates our facebook status.

Advantage: Puppy

Smarty Pants!

Sleep Patterns
Baby: I understand that babies need to be feed every 4 hours or so when they are little but eventually settle in to a regular sleep pattern of 8 hours a day at some point in their life.
Puppy: They only eat 2 times a day but that does not guarantee you a restful night. Since they don't wear pampers they have to be taken out frequently to go to the bathroom and they can be restless sleepers. But once they get into a pattern, they sleep through the night and for a better part of the day for the rest of their life.

Advantage: Tie

Baby: I understand that babies can be quiet costly. Evidently, this cost continues well in to their teen years and for some parents well into their "baby's"  30's. The estimate to raise a child to the age of 18 is around $200,000. That seems like a lot.
Puppy: There is usually a purchase cost, whether it be a donation or a breeder fee. After that, the cost is not too steep. We have 2 dogs and the only monthly purchases are medical and food. So while your are shopping for $300 prom dresses and designer jeans, my dogs and I will be home counting our money.

Advantage: Puppy

In conclusion, after hours of research and field interviews I will you let you, the reader, come to your own conclusion. Although we may never have the answer or both sides may never come together,  this argument is sure to be played out for years to come in bars, baby showers, and animal shelters across the country.

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