Monday, August 29, 2011

Check Memo

Loved by everyone.

People love pizza. Rich people, poor people, men, women, children all love pizza. 

My favorite pizza story dates back to college. One day a friend received his bank statement in the mail and it reflected that a check had been written to local pizza delivery. Racking his brains, he could not remember purchasing $120 worth of pizzas. The more he thought about it, the madder he got that the local pizza place, who had been in business for 20 years, was preying on unsuspecting hard working college students and most likely living the high life while bilking students out of their spending money. Or was it the banks fault? The bank who deviously was diverting funds from studious college kids who trusted them with their hard earned money. Either way, someone was going to pay. He would start with the bank, it would be a classic  David vs. Goliath tale as he would expose this scandal and get his $120 back and become the working man's hero. Oh, was he going to stick to the man.

So he placed a phone call to the bank and informed them that he would be coming down to the bank to the view the cashed check that was in question (yes, this is before online banking, which makes me about 32 if you are wondering). An appointment was set and in he marched. A young man had never felt more confident and $120 richer. His head was high and voice was commanding. When he approached the teller, he politely (it was Iowa after all) and firmly let her know the purpose of  his visit. He went on to let her know that it was most likely an oversight and all would be forgiven. As the teller happily pulled out the cashed check they engaged in small talk, most likely about the weather or the Hawkeyes.  Once she had the check in her hand, the smile left her face. She looked at the check, then at my friend over her glasses that were down at the end of her nose, then back at the check before she sternly said, "Take a look".
Still confident, my friend took the check. As his eyes scanned the check, yes it was his check written out to the pizza place in question. The date did match the date on his statement and yes, he had had a few friends over that night but was still certain there was no pizza ordered. The amount was written out and numerical, both of which matched. His signature was there but didn't look exactly how he would write it...was he a victim of theft? Had he spent so much time focused on the bank and the pizza place that he failed to see the betrayal that took place in his own a friend, a roommate? He looked back up at the teller and said, I know its my check but I didn't write this.
Growing tired, the teller said, "Why don't you look at the memo".

Not actual writing sample..but similar.
And as his eyes glanced down at the memo section. He strained to read what would have only been written by a right handed 4 year old that was writing with his left hand. The "memo"  started on the line but then by the time it finished it was written well under the line and had made its way underneath the signature line. The letters went from small to large back to small and from cursive to print to cursive.
And in the way the memo was intended to be used, it jogged his memory.

For the memo simply if not drunkenly stated:

For the Mo$%^&er Fu*&$%ing, Pizza!!!!!!!!!

As he sheepishly looked back up at the teller, he calmly stated he would need no further assistance and was dropping his complaint against the bank.

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